My wife works for Sojourners in Washington, DC. Being connected to this magazine, from time-to-time, she gets other magazines or books to review. Thanks to this, I recently received a copy of Grace & Peace: Ministry in a Connected Culture, which is a resource for Nazarene clergy (if you are not aware, the Nazarene Church is an off-shoot of Methodism). In their Summer-Fall 2011 issue, they had an interview with a Wesleyan scholar named Kenneth J. Collins. In this write up , he is noted as saying that we need to “bring forth the whole Wesley.” Although, there are aspects of the article I disagreed with (and these may be discussed in a later blog post), on this Aldersgate Day, I think it is important to consider bringing forth “the whole Wesley.”
I think this day has been over-sentimentalized within Methodist / Wesleyan circles. In many Methodism classes I have taught over the years, many had the understanding that after this special day (May 24, 1738) John Wesley never questioned his faith again. His assurance of salvation was strong and not to be swayed. These ideas are upheld by his journal entry for that day saying that he had not been a Christian before hearing Martin Luther’s Preface to the book of Romans being read that night at the Aldersgate society.
Yet, less than a year later on Thursday, January 4, 1739, Wesley writes at length in his journal:
My friends affirm I am mad, because I said I was not a Christian a year ago. I affirm, I am not a Christian now. Indeed, what I might have been I know not, had I been faithful to the grace then given, when, expecting nothing less, I received such a sense of the forgiveness of my sins, as till then I never knew. But that I am not a Christian at this day, I as assuredly know, as that Jesus is the Christ.
For a Christian is one who has the fruits of the Spirit of Christ, which (to mention no more) are love, peace, joy. But these I have not. I have not any love of God. I do not love either the Father or the Son. Do you ask, how do I know whether I love God, I answer by another question, ‘How do you know whether you love me?’ Why, as you know whether you are hot or cold. You feel this moment, that you do or do not love me. And I feel this moment, I do not love God; which therefore I know, because I feel it. There is no word more proper, more clear, or more strong.
And I know it also by St. John’s plain rule, ‘If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.’ For I love the world. I desire the things of the world, some or other of them, and have done all my life. I have always placed some part of my happiness in some or other of the things that are seen. Particularly in meat and drink, and in the company of those I loved. For many years I have been, yea, and still am, hankering after a happiness, in loving, and being loved by one or another. And in these I have from time to time taken more pleasure than in God.
Again, joy in the Holy Ghost I have not. I have now and then some starts of joy in God: But it is not that joy. For it is not abiding. Neither is it greater than I have had on some worldly occasions. So that I can in no wise be said to ‘rejoice evermore;’ much less to ‘rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory.’
Yet again: I have not ‘the peace of God;’ that peace, peculiarly so called. The peace I have may be accounted for on natural principles. I have health, strength, friends, a competent fortune, and a composed, cheerful temper. Who would not have a sort of peace in such circumstances? But I have none which can with any propriety be called, a ‘peace which passeth all understanding.’
From hence I conclude, (and let all the saints of the world hear, that whereinsoever they boast, they may be found even as I,) though I have given, and do give, all my goods to feed the poor, I am not a Christian. Though I have endured hardship, though I have in all things denied myself and taken up my cross, I am not a Christian. My works are nothing, my sufferings are nothing; I have not the fruits of the Spirit of Christ. Though I have constantly used all the means of grace for twenty years, I am not a Christian.
John Wesley’s special heartwarming experience at Aldersgate was not the end of the story. He continued to experience dark nights of the soul.
Although it pains me that Wesley was struggling with his faith, this part of Wesley’s story gives me hope. Here was truly an influential Christian – prior to this time and certainly after – yet he didn’t always feel assurance. He had struggles in his life of faith and yet he kept plugging away – pressing on toward the goal of Christ Jesus. This is an example we can all look to and follow – preaching faith until he had it and then preaching faith all the more.
On April 9, 1788 – almost 50 years after his Aldersgate experience, Wesley preached a sermon entitled, “On Faith.” In it he said,
Indeed, nearly fifty years ago, when the Preachers, commonly called Methodists, began to preach that grand scriptural doctrine, salvation by faith, they were not sufficiently apprized of the difference between a servant and a child of God. They did not clearly understand, that even one “who feareth God, and worketh righteousness, is accepted of him.” In consequence of this, they were apt to make sad the hearts of those whom God had not made sad. For they frequently asked those who feared God, “Do you know that your sins are forgiven?” And upon their answering, “No,” immediately replied, “Then you are a child of the devil.” No; that does not follow. It might have been said, (and it is all that can be said with propriety,) “Hitherto you are only a servant, you are not a child of God. You have already great reason to praise God that he has called you to his honourable service. Fear not. Continue crying unto him, “and you shall see greater things than these.”
I can’t help but wonder if he didn’t have his own experience in mind as he shared this part of his sermon. “Fear and guilt are not the way to make disciples,” I think he had learned. Rather, continuing in the process of faith – going on to perfection – is how disciples are made.
Just as Wesley’s experience at Aldersgate was not the end of the story neither was Wesley’s understanding of assurance and salvation. So, when we consider bringing forth the whole Wesley, let us remember the process of pain, growth, and change. Let us realize that the Wesley we read in 1738 is not the same Wesley we read in 1788. Likewise, may we not be the same people we were in the past. Let us grow more fully into the stature of Christ in the future!
To learn more about how John Wesley’s theology developed and changed over his life, I highly recommend Theodore Runyon’s, The New Creation: John Wesley’s Theology Today
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